


Caress

by GreyPezzola



Series: A Study in Synonyms [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9458447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyPezzola/pseuds/GreyPezzola
Summary: She’s been sitting there long enough for two logs to be added to the fire, fingers buried in her dog's fur looking pensive.  Every so often her dog had snuffled at her hands and she procured a treat for him, but that is the most he’s seen her do all evening.  “Do you think I failed my sister?” she asks softly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A quick examination of regrets, familial obligations, honor and duty, and all that other shit.

She’s been sitting there long enough for two logs to be added to the fire, fingers buried in her dog's fur looking pensive.Every so often her dog had snuffled at her hands and she procured a treat for him, but that is the most he’s seen her do all evening.Alistair sighs and gathers up food before heading over to where she sits. 

“Sigyn,” he promptly stumbles over her dog's name.To be fair, he tries his best every time, but he’s never been able to get his tongue around the dwarfish title.She’d once told him that it meant “High Lord of roughly, uh, flatulence”.He’d laugh until he’d cried at that and she had smiled that small secret smile he’d come to know she only got when she was proud.But this time when he butchers her dog's name, no wry smile crossed her face.“Darling? I brought you food.Figured His Lord’s kibble wouldn’t be enough.”

At least her dog perked up at the mention of food, but Sigyn’s face remains in a frown as she looks up at him.“I’m not very hungry, salroka.”

“I just— if you want to talk about what’s wrong, but I can leave you be.” She studies him for a moment, considering, Alistair knows the look well.It’s the same one she gets when she’s finding a weakness in someone’s armor, both physical armor and personal armor.It still makes him feel laid bare, but no longer does it intimidate him.

“I may not have many words,” she finally murmurs, her expression softening for just a moment, “but you are not unwanted.” She pats the earth next to her.He places the food just at his arm’s reach and sits down next to her.The Lord of Farts snuffles at him, clearly interested in what he had brought.

“May I?” he asks.When she nods, he wraps an arm around her shoulder.They sit in silence as he fidgets with his token and slowly she relaxes into him.The first time they had cuddled, Alistair had tried to still his hands and just enjoy her presence, but his fingers had refused to stop tapping against his leg.Sigyn had eventually given him a bemused look, “You can…” she had wiggled her fingers, frowning slightly as she did when she couldn’t find the right word, “with your rune.I know you are still paying attention to me.Besides, I’m sure I will appreciate the dexterity of your fingers at some point.”

He had flushed scarlet and stuttered a thanks as he pulled out the rune and started to flip it through his hand.Sigyn had merely smiled and settled herself deeper into his embrace.Later, when he had figured out why his heart felt like it had skipped a beat at her permission, he had whispered his thanks in her ear and she had shown him her welcome by kissing down his neck.

But now, the rune flips through his fingers as they sit together as she thought.He occasionally pauses in his fidgeting to occasionally stroke the smooth back of the stone or trace the carved symbol with his thumb.“Do you think I failed my sister?” she asks softly.

Sigyn and Rica— he’d barely had gotten to know his love’s sister before she was yelling at her.Sigyn’s face had crumpled, he voice catching is she reached out to her sister pushed past her and rushed out of the hall.Alistair had tried to offer her some comfort, but then Sigyn had turned on her heel and marched back into the court chamber where she had just crowned a king.When he had caught up to her, she was face to face with the new king.

“It is against our custom—” he had been saying but Sigyn, blood still splattered across her face from the battle before had yelled.

“I do not care! My sister will not return to being a duster! I will not have her suffer because her patron died! Should House Aeducen fail her, you will do everything in your power to take care of her and her son or Orzammar will be crowning a new king!” then she had turned and left.Harrowmont had made eye contact with him briefly and Alistair had shrugged.Sigyn didn’t make threats lightly.Alistair had followed her again, but it was clear she didn’t want to be found.Wynn had given him a sympathetic look and they had gone back to the tavern they had been staying at.Alistair had been asleep when he felt her crawl into bed with him.They hadn’t talked about what had happened.

He pauses in the fiddling with the rune and looks at Sigyn more closely in the low light.She looks small and utterly defeated, dark hair obscuring part of her face.He’s never seen her look so vulnerable.“As you said, she would have been miserable either way.”

“But she wasn’t…” her voice quavers.She hands him a crumpled letter that is unmistakably in the dwarven script.“She was happy with Behlen.He was happy with her.And I killed him.I killed my nephew’s father.” Her voice catches and Alistair runs a soothing hand down her shoulder.

“He sealed his fate when he drew his sword.” He slips the rune into his pocket and cups her face with his hand.He wipes away the tears that are threatening to fall.“But I might not be the best person to ask, as a prince who does not want the throne.”

She lets out a watery chuckle and he smiles at her.His heart stutters again as it reminds him once more just how much he loves this woman.“But no, I don’t think you failed your sister.She couldn’t come with you when she had a—“

“Patron.” she supplies.

“Patron.She can’t come with us now with a son.And her patron was a cruel man, not to her maybe, but— I think that if she is half as strong as you are, she will be fine.”

“It’s easy to say my mother would have been miserable either way.” She said.“But Rica… we both sacrificed so much for each other.And I left.I missed my own nephew be born.”

“You told me that the diamond district wouldn’t have suited you.”

“No.I’m not that” she searches for a word, “content with being idle.”

“I’ve noticed.You even move in your sleep.I’ve got the bruises on my shins to prove it.” She removes her hand from her dog to lightly punch him in the stomach.He bends over and moans in mock pain.She finally laughs, the low rumble he loves.Sigyn is laughing, tears smudged down her face, and he is once again amazed by her beauty.

“What are you looking at?” she asks softly when she finally notices the intensity of his gaze.

“You.” Alistair shifts so they are facing each other.She flushes, something that always thrills him that he can do.She taps the collar of his shirt and he nods.The arm that had punched him cradles his face as she goes to kiss him.

It was a sign they had agreed on.She was physically very open with her affections, a contrast to her quiet demeanor.It had been their first spat as they had been figuring out how to relate to each other now that romance was involved.She had kissed him rather by surprise, tugging him down to her level after a particularly stressful battle.Alistair hadn’t been prepared and while it was a quick but fierce kiss, it had left an odd taste in his mouth, figuratively.They had argued in hushed tones until they had recognized their cultural differences.Dusters were very open with themselves and their relationships, they didn’t always have the luxury of privacy or time.Alistair’s upbringing and time in the chantry and the grey wardens had left him valuing what privacy he could have a great deal.As their relationship had developed, he had grown more comfortable with the publicity of the affection, but their system of tapping helped comfort him. 

A quiet moment passes as they kiss until the sound of chewing breaks their tranquility.She pulls away and chides her dog who retreats after snagging the hunk of cheese Alistair had hoped to eat.

“He’s sleeping outside tonight.” he states as the dog lumbers off to eat his trophy.

“Agreed,” she says.“Hope no noble takes pity on him.”

He chuckles, “Maybe we should warn them.” they look at each other and she giggles before schooling her face into a serious expression.

“Maybe we should just load him with cheese and send him to deal with Loghain.He’d welcome any Lord in.”

“He’ll never see his downfall.” He nods emphatically,fighting the smile tugging at his lips as he gives her his best battle plan face.

“But he’ll definitely smell it.” They both crack up at that.Alistair throws his head back while she leans against his shoulder as she laughs.

“You are a wicked woman.” Alistair manages to say between laughs.

She looks up at him, eyes filled with mischief.“You love me anyways.”

“I do.” He says, face sobering.“I really do.”

“I know.” She clears her throat and looks away from him.“I’m not as good with words, but I do love you.I know I don’t really say it much but—”

“Sigyn, you show your affection through actions.” he turns her chin lightly so she can see him.“And trust me, I feel so loved by you.”She blushes again and this time he taps her cheek.When she nods, he kisses her gently.They settle against each other and she tucks her head under his chin.

“Landsmeet keeps getting closer.” she says softly.

He groans, “I cannot describe how much I do not want to be king.I don’t know the first thing about it.” She runs her hand down his chest until it rests on his stomach.

“We might not have any other choice.” She murmurs, tilting up her head so her nose is pressed under his chin.“But I would not want anyone to force you into being king.”

“Honor and duty.” he scoffs.“We wouldn’t last.You can’t stand being idle and all the arls and lords and what not are intimidating.”

“They hardly scare me.” she says pensively.

“Not scared of anything, are you?” he says wryly.Alistair feels her smile against his neck at his words.

“I’m not scared of Arls and Lords, but things do scare me.” It’s a soft admission.“Snakes, Zevran first thing in the morning, you.”

“Me? Sigyn, what— I can understand Zevran, he’s awful in the morning.But me, I would—” she lays a finger across his lips.She pulls away from him so she can look at him.Without breaking eye contact she straddles his lap, lifting herself so they are at eye level.

“You could break my heart or I could break yours.” he opens his mouth to protest.“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Honor and duty and all that I guess.” He says instead.“I may have to be king.”

“Yes.And human kings don’t fraternize with dwarva dusters.Not in the way we fraternize.”

“All the more reason not to become king if I can avoid it.”

“If you can, salroka.” they aren’t smiling, but nevertheless she presses her lips against his softly.She then moves back to his side.They don’t talk, but they hold each other until he dozes off and the rune falls from his fingers.

“Alistair, don’t fall asleep on me, love.I can’t carry you back.” She rouses him just enough so they can stumble back to their tent.

Alistair is just coherent enough to mutter “You are a soft touch,” when her dog slips into the tent with them.He pulls off his outerwear and slips into their bedding.

She chuckles softly as she unwraps her chest bindings.“Not the only handsome man I’m soft for.” Alistair hums happily as she snuggles up against him.His breath starts to even out and just as he about to fall asleep he thinks he hears her murmur, “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was the start of actually writing Sigyn, but it's taken a while to post. When I was asked at Andraste's ashes "do you think you failed your family?", it hit really close to home. Too close to home. As an adult child of an alcoholic who left for college and never looked back, leaving behind an older sister, I had the 4th wall broken in such a way that I could barely sleep. At least Sigyn was able to process her emotions around her family semi-healthily.
> 
> (If you want to hear my discourse about how DA interacts with alocholism, that is badly, I made a post about it here: http://silhouetteofagirl.tumblr.com/post/156230187457 )


End file.
